I Feel

Sep 23, 2011 by

I Feel

Those who have come before me have had the ability to make paper cry
My abilities have left me a long time ago
And my paper’s sole purpose is to catch what falls from my sorrow kissed eyes
I feel as if my soul has been invaded
As if my breath has surrendered to that which holds it ransom
Like death has invaded my body through tainted bourbon
I
Feel
Like
I am
No more…
I would gladly exchange my being for solace
Offering what is me to its alter
But I am not even worthy of that
I would pimp my soul if it meant rest for my heart
I would fall freely through nothingness
I would…
But does it matter
I think not
I feel like my womb has been infiltrated
Ravished
Raped
Pillaged
Left for dead on a road that no-one travels
The drunken butterflies that once held residence in the pit of my belly no longer fly
My mind has retreated
My heart has broken in a thousand irrevocable pieces
My…
That too matters not
I could continue to cry
But what for
Tears are useless and offer falseness
And besides this paper that stands before me can do no more than capture which no longer exists…

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2 Comments

  1. “Like death has invaded my body through tainted bourbon” I really love this line!!! It made me grin remembering all the times I had a bourbon night and it does remind me feel quite old.

    I would be keen to know the inspiration for your poem!

    • Hey woman…thanks Im glad you enjoyed it and thats one of my fav lines btw.

      Honestly I was hurting really bad the other day when I wrote it. Upset that my relationship was going to a really bad place, confused about my needs and next steps, trying to figure out if I had been lying to myself all of this time. From that the piece just came.

      I was tired of crying, tired of hurting, tired of simply everything and I was just feeling stuck ya know…

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