Kong-My Realistic Dong

Mar 24, 2011 by

Kong-My Realistic Dong

Kong is my favorite dong! I have found so many uses for him. What started out as a plaything, he has become a productive “member” of the family. He is made of rubber so he can withstand just about all elements. If only all dicks were this handy!

Pros : Versatile,  Easy clean up

Cons: May cause hairballs in cats and could take out an eye!


I have found so many new ways to use Kong. The possibilities are endless. I found 4 new uses before its demise…but we will get to that.

I got a new wind-chime for my birthday and had no way to hang it up. I found that if you wet the suction cup it sticks charmingly to windows. The chimes hung perfectly and it wasn’t long before I looked out the window to see a little blue jay perched upon it trying to pull out hairs, for a nest I am assuming. I did get some strange looks from the man next door so I figured maybe that wasn’t the best idea.

I moved on to the bathroom and attached it to the shower wall. It works great for holding your washcloth and your loofah. But alas I dropped the soap and as I bent over to pick it up I damn near poked my eye out! I will be alright…the patch comes off in a week.

As I racked my brain trying to think of even more uses, My train of thought was constantly interrupted by the wind slamming the front door shut. Ding, Ding there we go. I attached it to the floor in front of the door to use as a doorstop. Now this worked out great because my cat, Pussy Galore, had a ball using it for a batting post. It did give her a hairball after an hour of licking the base.  I found it, the perfect use, aside from the obvious of course.

That is of course until my mother-in-law came to visit. After voicing her disgust, she turned to leave and stomped toward the door. I turned to walk away and all I heard was a loud POP and the door slammed. I ran to look but Kong was gone! No one has heard from her in 3 days. She isn’t answering her door or phone. Hmmmm. I guess she has found other uses for him. He will be dearly missed.

Clean up is a breeze. Just use soap and water. Or do like I did…don’t wash him at all. The smell reminds me of a guy I dated in college. Nothing like memories!!!


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  1. Dwtim

    Those are some great uses. Another use, if you get it back, it makes a great hood ornimate on the car/truck. ;-)

  2. Vaccinium

    I’m terribly sorry to hear about your eye. Sometimes the best lessons are the ones that are learned the hard way. :)

    Thank you very much for the laugh.

  3. sexyintexas

    Thanks I bet you could tie one of those tiger tails to it to flap in the wind too. And yeah, the doctor said I will be fine. :)

  4. Great job! Very entertaining.

    I wish my MIL would steal a dildo and I could not hear from her for a few days or more! Hell, maybe if she had an orgasm or two a personality could surface!

  5. Great stuff, sexy!

    Now I can hang that windchime I’ve had sitting around for years!

  6. Nancy Wray


  7. AirenWolf

    OMG I could hang my windchimes from this! SA-WEET! If only you had bent over the other way…the shower could have given you a great time!

  8. newlady

    :) giggle..
    Funny story.

  9. Huxley

    I think Dwtim is onto something! Hood ornimate, ha!

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